The Lincoln/Kennedy Conspiracy!

Hello Beautiful Thinkers,

Abraham_Lincoln_seated,_Feb_9,_1864There’s this post floating around Facebook that caught my eye the other day so I thought I’d give it a mention: the Abraham Lincoln/John F Kennedy Coincidences post.  With how popular Abraham Lincoln’s been getting in the past couple years, two in-theater movies, one b-movie, and quite a few books featuring Lincoln as the lead role, I’m not really surprised that something usually reserved for conspiracy theory forums has found its way into mainstream social media.  And I want to say this before I go any further: I’m not taking this post too seriously; it’s just facebook guys.

So let’s check these coincidences out shall we?  Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.  Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.  Lincoln was elected President in 1860 and Kennedy in 1960.  Both dates are exactly 100 years apart.  Sounds like an interesting coincidence right?  Some people say that since the first dates line up to 100 years apart it isn’t strange that the second dates line up the same.  But JFK was pretty young as far as a presidency is concerned, couldn’t he just as easily spent a little more time building up his career before running for office after he reached the average age of a presidential candidate?  And 100 years is totally enough time for Lincoln’s soul to be rebooted into a new person with a political pedigree.

220px-JohnFKMoving further down the list, both names Lincoln and Kennedy each contain seven letters, both men were particularly concerned with civil rights, both wives lost children while living in the White House, both men were shot on a Friday, and both were shot in the head.  Let’s break these down.  Seven letters is close to average for a surname, what politician doesn’t have an opinion on civil rights, I’ve got nothing for the dead children thing except some distasteful dead baby jokes, there’s a one in seven-day chance that the day you get shot in the head will be a Friday too, and if you’re planning to assassinate someone shooting them in the head is a pretty good way to guarantee the job gets done. None of these seem like a big deal individually, but that’s the whole point of the list: compiled they make you start to think, right?

AssassinsOkay skipping around a bit and speeding right through: both were assassinated by southerners, both were succeeded by southerners, both successors were named Johnson, Andrew Johnson was born in 1808, and Lyndon Johnson was born in 1908.  So put together in this way I could give you a really crazy conspiracy theory involving evil vice presidents plotting against their presidents, and then throw in a dash of reincarnation, but let’s be honest, you’ve all already reached the same conclusion right?  I mean it’s so obvious that Andrew Johnson got a fellow southerner to kill Lincoln.  Then when Lincoln was reborn as Kennedy, Andrew Johnson came back from the dead, got plastic surgery, took on the name Lyndon (keeping the last name Johnson switching his birth year from18 to 19 so he wouldn’t get too confused.  Plus he’s a zombie now so that probably happens easily), and built a political career so that he could get a new southerner buddy to kill Kennedy/reincarnated Lincoln in the hopes that he’d stay dead this time.  Are you still following me?

So both assassins are known by their three names and both names total fifteen letters each, which pretty *wink wink nudge nudge* of the aliens that put the conspiracy into motion, isn’t it?  I’m glad you noticed it too.  Also, Booth ran from the theater and was caught in a warehouse and Oswald ran from a warehouse and was caught in a theater.  Obviously one of them got the aliens’ message backwards.  Both were assassinated before their trails, of course, because the aliens didn’t want them testifying.  The other coincidences on the original conspiracy list that’s floating around the internet turned out to be inaccurate, especially the last one.  A month before Lincoln was assassinated, he was in Monroe Maryland.  A month before Kennedy was assassinated he was in Marilyn Monroe.  I hope that last part isn’t true because that would make Kennedy a fan of necrophilia; Marilyn sadly died over a year before Kennedy.  But the sexy play on words gave us a laugh which is all we’re really looking for from this post.

photo-1Keep Conspiring Beautiful Thinkers,

The Boy In The Heart Shades


Leave a comment

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: